


The Narcissism of Vampires

by LeDiz



Category: Twilight Series - All Media Types
Genre: Family, Gen, Issues with immortal teenagers, Protectiveness, kinda angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-08
Updated: 2016-09-08
Packaged: 2018-08-13 21:15:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,116
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7986460
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LeDiz/pseuds/LeDiz
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Carlisle and Bella pointedly do not fight, Edward leaves. Nessie is starting to wonder at that, and this time she's going to get an answer.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Narcissism of Vampires

Her father was out. Again. She hadn’t seen him for nearly a week and she didn’t think he’d come back for another.

He did this… not regularly, but enough that she didn’t think much of it anymore. He’d been doing it for years, and it worried Jacob, which made her worry a bit, but he always came back and things always went back to normal.

Nessie drummed her fingers against the tabletop, just watching as Carlisle stood by the window, staring out at the woods as if he could see Edward coming back.

He was worried, and guilty. It was because of him that her father always left, after all.

Oh, it wasn’t his _fault_ , by any means. Not as far as Nessie was concerned. Jacob said she was just going through a rebellious phase, but she placed all the blame for her father’s disappearance directly on her mother’s shoulders. Carlisle was the reason Edward left, but Bella was the _cause_.

The first time this happened, she’d been too young to really understand what was going on, and completely panicked. Back in those days, they’d had to work very hard to pretend Nessie was Edward’s younger cousin, and her father was an excellent actor. So good that when she saw him interact with outsiders, she honestly thought he found her a hindrance, and had only taken her in because Carlisle insisted. So when Edward left, she’d assumed it was because he was sick of her.

When he came back, and heard her thoughts, he was so distraught he very nearly left again. But in the end, he took some time off school and spent whole days with her and Jacob, convincing her that wasn’t the problem.

The next time, she’d been old enough to sense the tension between Carlisle and Bella, but not aware enough to connect it with Edward. Or, rather, she’d assumed it was because he’d left. The whole family acted strangely when Edward wasn’t around, and especially Carlisle. Even when her mother and father went away for business reasons or school, and called home every day, Carlisle would be very stiff and uptight, even snapping at people, until Edward came back.

The third time, Carlisle and Bella waited until Edward had been gone long enough to be out of earshot, and then promptly had a blazing argument about groceries, and whether Bella should go and get them or just leave it to Jacob.

Nessie had sat on the roof with Jacob, Emmett and Rosalie, listening to the argument three floors below and staring out at the snow-capped mountain ranges that surrounded their home.

“Jacob, if I ask you something, will you tell me the truth?” she asked suddenly, and Jacob blinked once before looking down at her. He didn’t answer straight away, so she looked up again with a frown. “Jacob?”

He hesitated, glancing over her head to the two vampires. “What’s the question?”

“Are Mother and Carlisle really fighting about food they don’t even eat?”

She heard Emmett snort, and felt Rosalie shifting beside her, but she kept her eyes on Jacob’s uncomfortable expression. “No… not really.”

“Then what are they fighting about?”

“Your dad, duh,” Emmett said, then yelped when Rosalie whacked him. “What? They are!”

She hit him again. “You don’t know that.”

“Oh, come on, Rose. _Everyone_ knows it. See, Nessie, honey, the thing is, your mom – hey, ow! Rose! Ow!”

She ignored his complaints, still belting him around the arm until he leapt to his feet and then off the rooftop. “Sorry Nessie! Talk to you later!” he called, before sprinting off into the woods. Rosalie hesitated, glancing back at Jacob in silent question, but as soon as he shrugged, she jumped after Emmett and started chasing him down.

Everyone avoided her questions after that, even Emmett, who was kept under Rosalie’s watchful eye. The fight happened at least once a year, over different, always completely mundane, boring things that didn’t make sense, until she looked and acted thirteen, and Edward didn’t even make it out of the _room_ before Carlisle snapped at Bella.

“Do you want to start the war again?” he demanded. “We were _lucky_ last time. The Venturi will not be so easily swayed a second time!”

Edward sighed and sat back, folding his arms over his stomach and staring up at the ceiling while Bella growled. They, Nessie and Rosalie had been gathered around the dining table, doing their homework – or reading medical journals, in Carlisle and Edward’s case. All the paper had been abandoned when the conversation began, but Nessie kept her book up near her nose like a shield, as if that would keep the adults from noticing her.

“This has nothing to do with them! I just want to see my family, is that such a problem?”

“Uh, yes?” Rosalie cut in. “Bella, you knew this coming in: you gave up your human life to be one of us.”

“Only because we needed to keep secrets back then,” she insisted. “Charlie _chooses_ not to know what’s going on. But he does know. So there’s no point in staying away from him!”

“Chief Swan doesn’t know. He knows something happened, but not what, exactly. He accepted that he might never see you again. As did your mother. It’s time you did the same,” Carlisle said firmly, but Bella just rolled her eyes.

“You’re thinking in the past. All of you! Things have changed since Edward and I chose to be together,” she said, and drew herself up proudly. “Nessie has changed everything in this world. Humans don’t have to be kept at arm’s length! They can know, and no one will ever get hurt!”

Carlisle folded his arms over his chest, and Nessie couldn’t help but think his annoyed expression really didn’t suit his face. Carlisle was ridiculously compassionate. She’d heard the fights before, and seen him storm around the house occasionally, but this… anger… she wondered if she’d ever seen it before.

“One occurrence does not change the world, Bella,” he said evenly. “Nessie is a miracle. You and Edward were incredible. But what makes you think you were a portent of things to come? What happened between you was… inconceivable. An aberration.”

It didn’t sound like an insult, despite the words, but Bella still hissed as if it had been. “Vampires that don’t feed on humans were inconceivable once, Carlisle, and now we’re practically common place!”

“I wish that it were so, but you know we are not,” he argued. “Even among our allies, and those who would call us friends, we are unusual. You are just so –” He stopped, then winced and tilted his head toward Edward. “I don’t mean that. I apologise.”

Edward didn’t lower his eyes from the ceiling, but he shook his head minutely. Whether in disagreement or frustration, Nessie couldn’t tell.

“Just so what?” Bella demanded. “You as well as told Edward. Tell me. It was about me.”

“I didn’t mean it. It was cruel and… not fair.”

“But true, I bet,” Rosalie said, and she stepped up to the table to meet Bella’s angry gaze. “If Carlisle won’t say it, then I will. Bella, you think the world revolves around you.”

“Oh, pot and kettle, I see,” she shot back, but Rosalie only tilted her chin a little higher.

“You think that just because something’s happening around you, it’s happening everywhere. That everything you go through is the most important thing ever. It doesn’t help that my brother thinks the sun shines out of your –”

“Rosalie,” Carlisle chided, and she glanced at him, then Nessie, and sighed.

“We’re freaks of the vampire world, Bella. We were long before you came along, and Edward falling for you made us even more so,” she continued, then raised her eyebrows in sarcastic point. “You, however? A silly little human girl becoming enamoured—no, obsessed—with a vampire? _That’s_ practically common place. The only thing unusual or special about you is your daughter, and she’s special because her father’s the biggest freak of us all. And I mean that with the greatest love, Edward.”

He didn’t acknowledge that, still gazing at the ceiling, but Nessie kept staring at him while Bella’s jaw worked furiously. It was easier to stare at him than even look at anyone else.

“Edward and I –”

“No, Bella, not Edward and you – _Edward_ ,” Rosalie snapped. “Edward was the one who left and then chose to come back to this lifestyle eighty years ago. Edward was the one who went against instinct and tradition and everything else to get to know you. Edward was the vampire that went against millennia of vampire history and not only fell in love with a pathetic human, but refused to turn her until he absolutely had to. Edward was the one who refused the Volturi at every turn. Edward was the one who broke all the rules. You, Bella, were just another human that succumbed to all our natural weapons, but with the one vampire that knows how and yet refuses to use them for hunting.”

“It was me the Volturi were after,” she argued. “It’s me that they’re angry with now for holding them off.”

“That’s true,” Carlisle interjected, before Rosalie could open her mouth. “But that’s not what we’re talking about. We’re simply saying that what happened once will not necessarily happen again. We can’t afford to take risks based on single events.”

There was a pause, and then Edward suddenly stood up.

“Edward?” Bella prompted, while Carlisle winced again and looked away.

“I’m sorry,” he said, but Edward only closed his eyes under heavily furrowed brows for a few moments before shaking his head again and stepping out from the table. He gently ran his fingers through Nessie’s hair, then leaned down to kiss her temple.

“I have my cell if you need me, sweetheart. I won’t be gone too long,” he murmured against her ear. Then he straightened, gave Bella one of those long, painful looks he was so good at, then turned and headed out the door.

They heard Alice run down the stairs to meet him outside the front door, Jasper close on her heels, but only heard the soft rumble of their whispered conversation before Alice and Jasper came back in, and the knowledge Edward was gone really began to seep in.

Carlisle braced himself against the table for a few moments, then bowed his head and stood as well, taking the medical journals with him. He hesitated in the doorway, glancing back at Bella.

“What did you think?” she demanded. “What is it that you always think to make him leave?”

“Only that I love my son, and I wish we didn’t hurt him so,” he said, then turned on his heel and disappeared into the depths of the house. Bella looked down at her homework, then buried her face in her hands, while Rosalie flipped a hand and left the room as well.

Nessie just sat there, wondering exactly what vital part of reality she seemed to have missed.

For years, that was how it went. Bella would want to do something that they all knew was dangerous for their kind, the family would try to talk her out of it, it would dissolve into an argument, and Edward would leave for a week until everyone calmed down. She realised after a while that it was because her father could hear everyone’s angry thoughts, yelling in his skull, and (because he was angsty and melodramatic and so… _him_ ) would take it all personally. Once she figured that out, she didn’t blame him for leaving, especially since so many of the arguments seemed to relate back to him in some way. Not that she could ever figure out why.

When she looked and acted about sixteen, and had the uncomfortable experience of being in some of the same classes as her parents, she actually saw something happen, and just knew it was going to start an argument.

She and her mother were in the same class for Chemistry. They didn’t sit together in class, because Edward encouraged Nessie to meet new friends, in this first lifetime, and really experience everything. She couldn’t really do that with her mother sitting beside her.

But she still _saw_ her mother in class. So she saw her mother become friendly with Matt. She saw the way Bella would flick her hair and smile. She heard them chat. She never once heard her mother mentioned Edward.

Whenever she came out of that class, she couldn’t help but remember it and think about it later, even when her father and all his freaky mind-reading abilities came into view. She tried to hide it, sometimes, but even when she didn’t – when she actively thought it at him, he would just smile and shrug and avoid the unspoken question.

“Doesn’t it bother you?” she asked finally, after nearly three months of watching her mother practically _flirt_. “Aren’t you jealous?”

They were alone in the car, just driving along country roads because they could. Her mother had never really understood the appeal, but Nessie loved driving with her father, or Rosalie. It was her time with them.

Edward stretched his fingers against the steering wheel – one of those human habits he hadn’t grown out of, like running his fingers through his hair and clearing his throat. He was quiet for a long time, but she was used to that.

“Your mother loves me,” he said finally. “She married me, after all. She never wanted to get married, you know. But she did it for me.”

“But Matt doesn’t know you’re married. And she doesn’t even act like you’re dating!”

“I trust her. And you should too,” he added, as his obligatory father-comment for the day. Then he slowed the car to just a few dozen miles above the speed limit and looked at her for almost ten seconds. “She let me see her mind, sweetheart. Jasper can read her emotions. You know how hard it is to lie in our family – I know she means it when she says she loves me.”

It wasn’t for the reasons he intended, she knew, but those sentences haunted her thoughts for the next few days. ‘When she says she loves me’ and ‘how hard it is to lie in our family’. And she kept thinking about how the only person, in the whole world, who could lie to her father was her mother.

That, she knew, was the reason she kept watching Bella and Matt. That was why she started watching her mother and father interact. That was why she started getting so angry at both of them. So that, technically, was probably the reason Edward finally suggested he and Bella go away for a few weeks.

“We’ll tell the school we’re looking at colleges,” he suggested lightly, and very carefully didn’t look at Carlisle as he smiled at everyone else at the table, ending with an apologetic look at Nessie. “I’d like to ask you to come along, but –”

“No way,” she said, huffing at the very thought. “People at school already think you and me are the same age. If the three of us went away together, you just know they’d think Mom was our chaperone. Tre creepy, Dad.”

He nodded, barely hiding a smile, and looked at Jacob. “Especially since you can’t come along this time…”

Apparently long since used to Edward picking facts out of his head, Jacob nodded wearily. “Too short notice. I’d never get the leave.”

“And even creepier: if they took the story of you and me as twins, Dad, they’d probably think Mom and Jake were the ones hooking up,” she pointed out. “So. Gross.”

This time, her father lifted a hand to cover his mouth, and several other people at the table audibly snickered. She wondered if it was because of her, of just the idea of Bella and Jacob together. It was kind of a ridiculous thought.

“I agree,” her father said finally, his voice strangled as he tried to hold back his laughter.

It wasn’t until later that she realised they were probably going because she was having trouble going a whole day without thinking angry, bitter thoughts about her parents, which of course Edward would have to hear. She actually felt a little bit relieved. Maybe she’d get over all this while they were gone.

That idea kept her in a good mood until the day after they left, when she wandered into the den and found Carlisle sitting on the window seat near her father’s piano. It wasn’t an uncommon place for him to sit – when he had difficult cases at work, he’d often come home and sit there while Edward played piano, and they’d debate theories. Not having actually practiced medicine since the mid-forties, Edward was of course nowhere near Carlisle’s level, but he studied medicine almost as incessantly as Carlisle, and his objective knowledge of illnesses was often a good counterpoint to the emotional knowledge Carlisle got to know about his patients.

But this was different. Edward wasn’t here.

She hesitated, then walked over and sat down by his feet. She waited until he turned to look at her, and then reached over to touch his arm.

_Worried – you, me, both of us – same thing or different – Edward – why does he put up with it – I’m sorry – am I missing something?_

He sighed, gently pulling away and leaning back against the window. “Yes, I’m worried. But I’ve worried for over a hundred and ten years now, it’s nothing to be concerned about.”

“I would’ve given up on him by now. Heck, I’ve only had to put up with him since I’ve been alive and I’m ready to give up on him!” she announced, and Carlisle chuckled.

“Yes, but you’re his daughter. That comes with the territory,” he said, his smile fading as he lowered his eyes in fond memory. “Parents are supposed to frustrate their children, and children are supposed to worry their parents. That’s the way of the world.”

“Hm…” She hesitated again, wanting to reach out and touch but well aware everyone preferred it when she spoke. “Can I ask you a question? Promise you won’t get mad!”

“Renesmee,” he said pointedly. Carlisle barely ever got mad – she suspected his super-compassion wouldn’t let him.

“Okay, promise you won’t get upset. Do you…” She stopped, then started again. “I know we’re all your family, and I’m your granddaughter, and my aunts and uncles are all your children, but Edward’s your favourite, isn’t he?”

He blinked, then opened his mouth, paused, and then closed it again with a smile. “A good father would say he doesn’t have favourites.”

“He’d _say_ that,” she agreed cheekily, and he laughed.

“Yes. I think of them all as my children, and Esme is my most beloved wife, but Edward will always be my first and only companion,” he said, and then tilted his head. “It’s difficult to explain, though I’ve often had to. You’d think I would have a speech prepared by now. The closest I have ever managed is to say that I love Esme – am madly _in love_ with her. She is my mate, and my wife, and I would never want to live without her. But, to put it bluntly and inelegantly, I simply cannot _imagine_ living without Edward. Those times I have… those times he has actively left the house without an intention to return, I felt not merely depressed, but _lost_. Aimless. Alone in a way I doubt I could explain to one who has not felt it themselves.”

“Wow,” she said, then smirked. “And I thought Dad was the melodramatic one.”

He grinned. “I suppose he must have learnt it from somewhere.”

“Seriously though. I’m amazed Esme and Bella don’t get jealous.”

“Esme understands that it’s a different relationship,” he said simply. “Also, she’s been with me in those times Edward has not. She knows how it affects me and accepts it for what it is.”

“And Mom?”

“Bella has never known a time where we didn’t refer to one another as father and son,” he said, then paused, his expression turning careful. “And even if she hadn’t, she has little excuse to be righteously jealous.”

“Because of Matt?” she asked, and Carlisle raised an eyebrow.

“Matt?”

“This guy at school. Mom’s been getting _really_ friendly with him. Kinda ticks me off, but Dad just smiles and says he trusts her and that I should too.”

“Yes, well,” Carlisle took a deep breath. It was one of his human habits. “Edward does that.”

They were quiet for a few moments, Nessie just watching her grandfather quietly as he stared out the window. His expression had darkened even further with their conversation, until he looked outright worried. Almost annoyed.

“Carlisle?” she asked finally, and he looked at her in silent question. She paused, wondering if she was opening a box of worms she really didn’t want, but then took a breath and kept going. “Rosalie, Emmett, Alice and Jasper are all your kids. You call them that. And Esme calls Bella her daughter. But you don’t.”

He straightened his shoulders slightly, but didn’t answer beyond a small, prompting smile. She bit her lip.

“Do you… do you even like my mother?”

“Of course I do,” he said immediately, shaking his head at the thought. “I love Bella, just as I love all my children. But despite all my best wishes, Bella does not think of me as her father, and I would not press the role upon her.”

“And…?”

He smiled again, but there was little humour in it. “And I suppose I resent her, sometimes, yes. It’s a father’s prerogative to disa- to have problems with his son’s wife, after all.”

“Hold on just a second there, Grandpa!” she said teasingly, and pointedly at his chest. “You just said ‘disa’! Disa-what? You… you disapprove! You _don’t_ like my mother!”

“Don’t be ridiculous, of course I do!” he said, a touch of annoyance entering his expression. “I _do_ love her, Renesmee. But love does not preclude difficulties. Or, it’s true… disapproval. For example, I never approved of your father’s self-esteem issues, but that doesn’t mean I love him any less.”

“You are so avoiding the subject,” she said, and he forced a patient smile.

“What would you like me to say, exactly?”

“Why don’t you approve of Mom?”

For a moment, he didn’t respond, before his eyes suddenly darted up and a frown creased his forehead. Nessie glanced around and raised her eyebrows when she saw Jacob, Rosalie and Emmett leaning in the doorway, clearly waiting for his answer. Their expressions were interesting, to say the least: Rosalie looked smug, while Emmett was frowning and Jacob looked a little guilty.

Carlisle sighed again. “I do love Bella, and she has always been a part of this family, as far as I’m concerned. I believe it was God’s will that brought her to us – it was only a matter of time before she became one of us.”

“But…?” Rosalie prompted, and both he and Nessie shot her annoyed glances. This wasn’t her conversation.

“I suppose my first problem is not with Bella, but Edward. It’s an unfortunate truth that, no matter how long he lives, Edward was turned at seventeen, and you will notice as you grow older yourself, Nessie, that he is stuck there. He may be mature, and have learned many things, and understand the world far better than you and I because of his gift, but there are some things that a person grows out of, which Edward never will,” he said wearily. “Seventeen year olds feel things so strongly. You may call it melodrama, and it’s true that I believe Edward would have had his penchant for the dramatic whatever his age, but ultimately it is because he has a seventeen year old’s passion, amplified by a century of turmoil and an unfortunate habit of overthinking.”

“Okay… Whatever you say,” Nearly seventeen herself, as far as looks and actions went, Nessie glanced back at Jacob, who grimaced in reluctant agreement with Carlisle’s statement. She huffed and turned back to her grandfather, deciding she hated them all. “So what’s that got to do with Mom?”

“Your mother was Edward’s singer, it’s true. Her blood called to him. And they fell in love. But while most people would fall in love, they fell into teenage love, in which there is nothing and no one else.”

“Until someone else comes along, which is when you forget the first person and fall madly in love with the new one,” Rosalie interjected, and Nessie glanced back in time to see her and Jacob glaring at each other. Nessie frowned, not understanding the look, but Carlisle continuing his speech dragged her back to him.

“Sometimes… or sometimes, you grow out of that extremely passionate love and realise there are… other things that matter. With luck, your love will be true, and it will simply mature to the point that you can be in love and focus on other things. This is what happened to Bella. Edward, however…”

“He’s stuck in the obsession part,” Nessie finished for him, and Carlisle winced but nodded.

“He’s aware it makes him act somewhat irrationally. He can even fight it, to some extent. But that doesn’t change how deeply he feels. But, the point remains: Bella may love Edward, but not with that same all-consuming passion. It makes their relationship… unequal.”

Nessie frowned, thinking back to those days she’d watched her parents at school. Edward was always playing with Bella’s hair, or reaching for her, or just watching her with that content smile he got sometimes. And sure, sometimes Bella would reciprocate – she loved tracing his scars, playing with his fingers, kissing him all the time (it was so embarrassing!), but then… she’d stop. She would turn away. She watched other people. Teased them with her eyes and smile. Talked and flirted and joked with people that weren’t in the family. And completely ignored the man still staring at her like a priceless Monet.

Edward was Bella’s husband. Bella was Edward’s whole world.

“You don’t find it fair on Dad,” Nessie said, and Carlisle nodded. She frowned. “But Mom can’t help that. She wanted to be turned when they were both seventeen – Dad was the one who wouldn’t –”

“Hindsight is a wonderful thing,” he interrupted pointedly. “At the time, I knew the reasons Edward wanted Bella to remain human and supported them. I did not, however, remember just how… dramatic he could be. You know how our conflict with the Volturi began. _That_ is when I began to realise what a problem Edward’s age was. It had never been an issue before.”

“So why didn’t you turn her then?” asked Jacob. “I mean, wolf-bloodsucker politics aside. You could’ve left the country or something – we might not have found you.”

Emmett snorted. “Dude, and put up with Edward’s sulking for the next fifty years? He never would’ve forgiven us!”

“I thought we had more time,” Carlisle explained. “I had no idea how quickly children grow up these days. I thought Edward’s compromise of letting her go through college as a human wouldn’t really affect her maturity that much.”

“And in two years, she did so much ‘growing’ than Edward practically ripped himself apart, because he wanted to give her what she needed,” Rosalie added, rolling her eyes. “Fool.”

It was the first time anyone had spoken of her parents’ relationship in anything but a positive light, and Renesmee had to spend a few seconds blinking rapidly, trying to process. In the end, her head turned, jerkily, back to Carlisle.

“W-why did you let him do that? Why didn’t you just –”

“There were other things happening, sweetie,” Jacob interjected, and he pushed off the doorframe to sit on the piano stool, where he could almost touch her knee. “You know what we always tell you about other werewolves and vampires? And how you and I changed a big part of our world, because now I put up with these disgusting leeches for you?”

“And we put up with the smell of wet dog?” Rosalie added.

He flipped her off without looking, ignoring Carlisle’s disapproving frown. “Well, you also remember how we told you about the treaty? How if they bit even one human, or turned them, the treaty was over?”

“But Dad –”

“We didn’t know Edward like I do now,” Jacob pointed out. “All we knew was this creepy bloodsucker was stalking one of the humans we’d sworn to protect.”

“B-but… but what if –”

“And, while it’s all a moot point now, we had other concerns,” Carlisle continued quietly. “You see, although as far as I know, Edward is the first vampire to truly fall in love with a human, Bella was not the first human to find out about and fall in love with a vampire. It’s quite a common occurrence. The difference is that it didn’t end with Edward simply killing her before he could become attached.”

“And there was that whole thing about Bella being all cool with us being vampires,” Emmett added. “It was kinda weird. Usually you only get that with the humans that want to _be_ vampires. Who’ll do anything to become one.”

“Since Bella kept asking to be turned, so that she could be with Edward forever, some of us suspected that…” Carlisle trailed off, and Nessie’s eyes widened.

“You thought she was using Dad to become a vampire?”

“She wouldn’t have been the first,” Rosalie said coldly.

“Edward wanted your mother to remain human because he doesn’t believe we have souls. He considered himself a monster – I suspect he still does, sometimes,” continued Carlisle. “But the rest of us wanted her to remain human because we wanted to make sure she was really in love with Edward, not simply what he is.”

Nessie looked down at her hands, then at Jacob, and Emmett, before finally returning to Carlisle. “What made you change your mind?”

“Nothing,” he said, and she frowned.

“Well, something must have, if you –”

“Edward was told Bella had killed herself,” Jacob said quietly.

“He wouldn’t live without her,” added Rosalie. “So he tried to follow.”

“Oh my god!” she gasped, clapping her hands over her mouth before staring at Carlisle.

“Perhaps it’s selfish of me,” he said softly. “But I knew then, and I stand by this: I would rather spend a hundred centuries mending Edward’s broken heart than let him do that again. Whatever Bella’s core motivation is and was, I will not lose Edward.”

 ...

**Author's Note:**

> This is part of the 48, a collection of unfinished or pointless fics saved to my hard drive, now posted to Ao3 for people's interest or in case they want to adopt them.
> 
> Okay, so... I read the Twilight Books. And let me tell you, right up until the final book, I would have defended it to my last breath as a really fascinating subversion of the whole immortal, beautiful vampire thing. And then I got to the last book and realised... nope. No, that wasn't it at all. Stephanie Meyer had not been brilliant, the fans were not missing the point, the haters weren't not giving it a chance, I was WRONG.
> 
> I still like my version of it though. And there are a couple of the 48 devoted to that.


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